Monday, December 9, 2013

A Decembered Grief


She was darling and tiny and friendly ... the nurse prepping me for my last (hallelujah) oral surgery. And when I asked her about her Christmas plans, she told me her mom had died one year ago and she still was not ready to celebrate Christmas.


We had the sweetest talk about that first Christmas without your loved one ... how you are in shock but you can always remember how hellish it was.  And now her second one ... still so hard.


This beautiful Advent season, it is good to remember those that are grieving. They are all around us.

          *in our homes

          *in our neighborhoods

          *in our grocery stores

          *in our churches

          *on our Facebook pages 

          *and yes, even in our oral surgery office


The year my friend, Dana, lost her husband in a plane crash and was facing her first Christmas with her three young boys, she told me that A Decembered Grief:Living with Loss while others are Celebrating was a help to her.


I love this passage from the book and I read it every December.

" After experiencing grief, loss and death, I have come to believe in a Christmas that cannot be limited to 24 hours on the 25th of December. I have come to believe in a future Christmas when all God's children will be home. I have come to believe that in our first moments in heaven we will realize how much He (Jesus Christ) gave up to spend those years among us, to invite us to spend forever with Him. I believe that His coming locked this world into a loving embrace and that this December season, He will be as close as our grief allows." 

Who are you missing this season? (I am missing my adorable mom, Hallie) I will be praying for you.

Linking with Jen and the sweet Soli Sisters.

26 comments:

  1. Glenda, this was a poignant piece....especially this line from the book you shared--"I believe that His coming locked this world into a loving embrace."
    My mom's been gone since 1984 and I always miss her this time of year, especially when I hear Christmas music--she loved to sing.

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  2. I think it's so important for us to talk about our grief openly all the time, but especially during the holidays when it is particularly hard. Of all the people this nurse could have shared this with, I am so glad it was you. Because you are so especially gifted with helping people.

    I am missing my Grannie.

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  3. I'm always missing my mom and dad. I still find myself thinking of what I'd put under the tree for them. Thanks, Glenda, for a thoughtful reminder at this time of year.

    Best,
    Bonnie

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  4. I haven't had such a grief. Yet. One day I will experience it. Meanwhile, I pray for those who have.

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  5. That is a beautiful quote at the end of your post. I am missing my dad who died in 2007. I am praying for you and all those who grieve.

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  6. Glenda, words woven into a beautiful reminder. Thank you...this: He will be as close as our grief allows. is so VERY true.

    Blessings friend.

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  7. This is so true Glenda. My sister lost a son over ten years ago and the holidays have never been the same for her. Thanks for a great reminder!

    Oh, and I'm loving the book! :)

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  8. Just yesterday, I cried in the shower because my tooth hurts so badly and I miss my grandma so much -- she died 25 years ago and she always made Christmas, and every day, so special.

    Thank you for all the love and truth you share with your blog.

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  9. I remember that book "A Decembered Grief" and gave it to Mike this year to read. Good book, very practical!

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  10. Thank you for mentioning this book. I have friends who lost their 18 year old daughter who had just graduated high school in a drowning accident. Then just last month a dear friend lost her husband to ALS after a very difficult two year battle. I'm sure this Christmas is very difficult for all of them. Perhaps I will send an anonymous gift of this book!

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  11. Good post Glenda, we often overlook the sorrow of others...

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  12. You have mentioned this book before. I will need to find it I think. I love these thoughts that we'll understand how much he gave up to come and be with us. It made me think of how it says in Isaiah about Jesus and that...He has borne our sorrows and carried our griefs.

    I am missing afresh my father-in-law this Christmas as he died on October 29. Thanks for asking.

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  13. Such a important part of the 365 day message to greet and meet people where they are...and if you're ready to hear with a loving heart...you may not have to guess where theirs is...they are likely to tell you. Of course regarding sorrows...the Incarnation is the best news we have...but the ability to believe can be sorely tried in this world.

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  14. Sweet Glenda, I loved this post and I so identfiy with it. You spoke to my soul today.Thank you.

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  15. My amazing, precious Dad recently passed away on November 14th. This spoke to my heart. Thank you Glenda.

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  16. Hi Glenda! I will be remembering my Mom. She died on 12/13 of 2010. She was diagnosed with cancer, and died two weeks later. So fast and so sad.
    I think now that it has been three years, I'll do better with it all. She was "Mrs. Christmas", she loved this season.
    I got my teeth cleaned today. Suddenly I am thankful that it was just that :)
    Ceil

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  17. This is just so lovely, Glenda = and so important, too. Thanks so much.

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  18. Dear Glenda,
    What a lovely post. And you bring up a good point to remember those who lost someone over the past year or even two years. Never easy. That book sounds like a good read, maybe too for those who are not in a "happy" place this Christmas.
    And I'll end with this - I love your ornaments! xo donna

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  19. Thanks, Glenda - I'm missing my mother, too ...

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  20. This book was a blessing to me the first year my dad was with Jesus! This is our tenth Christmas without him and it seems like yesterday at times. I always stop and think of the celebration he must be enjoying in Heaven - with the Father and the Son - and I wouldn't think of asking him to come back. If he could.
    ~Adrienne~

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  21. easier said than done, that's my experience, Glenda. I keep waiting for it to get easier and it just doesn't. I'm a Bible believing Christian too; had I not been, I would have killed myself long ago.

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  22. The hardest thing is when you think the world should stop because you are so sad...but it doesn't. Life really does go on but it sure is hard. Our Christmas last year was the first one without my FIL. We stayed home for the first time ever. This year will hopefully be easier. Visits to your blog are always amazing. Thank you...

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  23. Thank you for sharing this my sweet friend.
    We don't miss our dad any less as years pass by and it doesn't really get easier, the void is still there especially during the holidays. But focusing on the gift of Jesus does change things and shifts our perspective.
    Love you

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  24. My husband and I were talking about this in relationship to a friend and his sons who lost his wife and their mother a few days before Christmas. Neither of us can remember one thing about the year we lost our Sarah 4 months before Christmas. Maybe that is a blessing.

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  25. So beautiful, my friend. Every Christmas I miss my grandparents, Ann and Earl. They were like second parents to me as they lived right down the road for my whole life. And, of course, I miss my brother, Chris. Thanks for asking.

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